I have this wonderful talent for being able to write in my mind. When I think, I think in complete sentences. As a kid, my imagination played in my head like dramatic fiction novels.
Unfortunately, when it comes to actual writing, my mind goes blank. There are many times, when writing for this blog, and writing for college assignments, where I’ve started for hours at a blank page with a curser blinking at me. The more I stare, the more uneasy I become. Whose brilliant idea was it for the cursor to keep blinking, anyway?
This disease becomes even worse when there is something serious on my mind that I can’t think clearly about. The past few weeks have brought quite a few of those things.
The first was how happy being self-quarantined made me. This is disturbing, because it would appear that I enjoy being without my friends more than I enjoy being with them. It should have been slightly less disturbing when one of these friends expressed feeling the same way. It wasn’t.
The second was the idea that I should start a home-based business. This plan was first suggested by my parents, and encouraged by “Called to Create,” a book that blew my mind about entrepreneurship. After much deliberating, I settled on jewelry making – something I’d started doing since before I can remember. The third was ordering the tools for the aforementioned business. That should’ve been easy and fun. Instead, it was extremely stressful. It kept on being stressful until the products arrived.
The fourth was trying to learn improvisation in less than a month while reading books on entrepreneurship, taking classes on jewelry making, practicing my piano (which I seemed to be making no progress on recently), and having the sudden and petrifying realization that I’d forgotten how to play my two favorite pieces.
All of these lovely events culminated in my migraines making a reappearance. I don’t know when they started or why, but it would seem that they missed me terribly. The phrase “back with a vengeance” comes to mind. It’s like my worst fears decided to team up and do the can-can with my overthinking mind backing it all up with background music. Literal dancing would be an interesting explanation for the brain pain.
I kept thinking about how to write about these things. How can I write about things that stress me out so much that I can’t even talk about it with myself? (The answer to this question, of course, is the semi-journal-esque post you’ve just read, written after a staring contest with the blinking cursor).
/Excuse me, dear reader, while I go de-stress by washing some dishes and possibly baking some bread.
In case you were wondering, yes, I really did wash dishes and left some bread dough to rise (time will tell if it’s actually edible or not).
Actually, this makes me wonder…how do you deal with stress? I would love to hear about your favorite stress-busting activities 🙂